People with herpes should wear stickers.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
