Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Well I just put wine in my tea
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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