Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
