Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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