youre lurking in front of me
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
