my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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