walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
