Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
