I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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