I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
