im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i barfeds in our rink
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
