From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
