you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
