WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
