Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
