when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
