Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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