but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
