2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
