I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
