ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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