She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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