Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
