I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Semen is not good for contacts.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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