Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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