which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
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