He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Randomize
