i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
