i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
