im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
