Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
