and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
