i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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