Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
