You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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