Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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