ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
