there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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