Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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