Apparently you make a good broom.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
