My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Randomize
