Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
At least life still wants to fuck me.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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