Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
That reminds me...we need to get swords
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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