fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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