Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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