Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize