Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
