i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
