Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
