You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
