So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
